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Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Thank you Sandra Wood
Thank you Sandra Wood, a set on Flickr.
We appreciate Sandra sending her personal photos to post!
Please send yours today!
Top Things Not To Say To The Spouse of a Deployed Soldier
Occasionally, Soldiers are complimented for their service. While recognition never fails to bring a smile, there is a group of much stronger, much more deserving individuals: Army Wives or military spouses.
The hardships that a military spouse endures are hard to imagine even to Soldiers. To sacrifice a year or more apart from their husband or wife, often cases the father or mother of their children, and take on all household responsibilities is a thankless task.
Occupied with executing combat missions and reacting on muscle memory, Soldiers reflect on what he or she is missing back home only during downtime. Although the spouse carries on, her life is never as busy that she forgets her husband. And in this sense, her job is tougher than her Soldier’s.
Army Wives are left with the responsibility of maintaining a home, a yard, a career, children, cars, pets, and every task that their Soldier used to handle. On top of that, the military spouse must worry that her Soldier is in danger and have faith that God will provide.
Those not in the military families try to offer support and empathy. Often times, these well-intended attempts are not very well thought out. The following is a collection of such thoughts that are intended with consideration but come across as inconsiderate or oblivious to those that are service beside the uniform.
So what is the “Top Things Not to Say to the Spouse of a Deployed Soldier?”
Often, people may attempt to empathize with the situation by saying one of the following:
“I know how you feel. My husband was away for nearly a week on business last month.” Although, well intended, a short business trip is NOTHING like experiencing the weight of a deployment, which can last from six to fifteen months.
“I know how you feel, I was a single mom.”
The wife does stay alone and care for things, but a single mom does not have to worry about a husband being in danger.
“I understand what you are going through; I watch the show Army Wives.”
The show Army Wives is not a reality show; it is a TV drama that is meant to mimic what writers believe to be true.
People may offer what they believe to be a compliment:
“I don’t know how you do it.”
“I couldn’t deal if my husband left that long.”
Hearing this is not a compliment. The wife does not have a choice to “deal,” and, often times, they don’t know how they get through either; they just do it because they honor and love their husband.
Some try to offer support and look on the bright side of things concerning the deployment.
“Well you only have 9 months left. The rest is easy now.”
Having a portion of the deployment completed does not make the rest of the separation easier.
If he is in Iraq, “At least he is not in Afghanistan.” OR
If he is in Afghanistan, “At least he is not in Iraq.”
Regardless of his location for the deployment, he is still in danger and still separated from his family.
Often times, military spouses are asked questions with obvious answers. Would you prefer if she answers with a non-obvious answer?
“Do you miss him?”
“Are you excited he is coming home?”
“Are you scared he will die?”
On the off chance that the spouse has taken her mind off these thoughts, you have now changed that.
Others carelessly encourage, “But he’ll be home for Christmas, right?”
Military personnel do not get to leave their assigned deployment for Holidays. They are granted only two weeks of vacation to leave and visit their family. Only a fraction of them can visit home at any given time, including holidays.
Believe it or not, those close to military spouses will at times grow tired of their friend’s sorrow, saying:
“You knew what you signed up for when you married a soldier.”
“You knew that he would be deployed.”
Military spouses do not marry the military; they marry the man or woman that they love who happens to be in the military. No one can ever describe to you what the weight of a deployment is like or “what you are signing up for”.
At times, some people end conversations by saying, “If you ever need anyone to help you with something around the house, give me call,” without leaving a phone number.
Typically, a wife is not going to reach out for help, especially when the offer is half-hearted.
Finally, some people just do not think before they talk.
“I am glad my husband isn’t in the military, because he could die.”
Believe it or not, people who aren’t in the military still die.
Throughout a deployment, the spouse of a Soldier endures a great sacrifice. A script on how to converse with the spouse of a deployed Soldier does not exist. The right things to say are not lines stored on a pocket-sized notebook, which can be pulled out in the necessary moment. Upon meeting an Army Wife, you should not feel as though it is necessary to try to relate to her. Although you may feel it is socially necessary to comment on the Soldier’s absence, there is really no need to do so at all.
Support, encouragement and graciousness are appreciated. However, there is a key to interacting with the spouse: Sincerity.
Be yourself. Be genuine. If you don’t know what to say, silence is acceptable.
If you pray, comfort the spouse by sending your prayers to the soldier and his family.
If you are grateful for the sacrifice, thank the husband or wife for what they are doing for your freedom.
If you want to help, be specific in what you are willing to offer, such as mowing the lawn. Empty offers are typically all encompassing.
If you aren’t willing to rake leaves or bathe the dog, don’t say, “If you ever need anything, let me know.”
Be a friend.
Show the spouse that you care about who she is, without defining her by the deployment.
In the end, it is the honesty and sincerity that means the most
OKAY... So he calls and says I got paid... Do you know how to read an LES?
Yes!!! Those great words your spouse will say, "oh, by the way, I got paid."
Now What?
Well, you need to know how to read an LES (Leave Earnings Statement), it is imperative you know and understand what that is, and can make sure that it is correct.
I've provided below two links that will help guide you through the process of learning and understanding what and LES is.
The first link will help walk you through understanding the LES and the second link will link you directly to the MY PAY website to access the LES.
Best Wishes,
Tessa
How to Read an LES
My Pay Link
Now What?
Well, you need to know how to read an LES (Leave Earnings Statement), it is imperative you know and understand what that is, and can make sure that it is correct.
I've provided below two links that will help guide you through the process of learning and understanding what and LES is.
The first link will help walk you through understanding the LES and the second link will link you directly to the MY PAY website to access the LES.
Best Wishes,
Tessa
How to Read an LES
My Pay Link
New to the ARMY? First Deployment? NEED HELP?
Many years ago, when I was completely "new" to the Military life, all I wanted was resources to fully understand from a "Civilian" perspective, what the ARMY was all about. What was my role, responsibilities, and what was going on in mine and my husband's life,
I'm attaching a great resource that you're able to download and save and reference often. Spouses, Parents.... read it, cover to cover, mark it and know it! You will feel empowered, by having a better sense of what's going on.
If you're prepared, then your soldier is able to concentrate on their mission and come home safe!
Happy Reading!
Tessa
My Army Life
I'm attaching a great resource that you're able to download and save and reference often. Spouses, Parents.... read it, cover to cover, mark it and know it! You will feel empowered, by having a better sense of what's going on.
If you're prepared, then your soldier is able to concentrate on their mission and come home safe!
Happy Reading!
Tessa
My Army Life
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Do you have pictures or videos? Please share
Greetings Families,
If you have pictures or video from the Farewell Ceremony, I'd love to share with everyone.
Please send directly to Tessa at:
tessa.smith07@yahoo.com
If you have pictures or video from the Farewell Ceremony, I'd love to share with everyone.
Please send directly to Tessa at:
tessa.smith07@yahoo.com
Meet Charlie Company 3/144 Forward Company Commander
Greeting from the Charlie Company 3/144 Company Commander
1LT David (Brian) Smith
On behalf of myself and my soldiers I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you all to this site.
I fully understand how important it is to stay connected to your loved ones during deployment, and I'm excited to have my wife, Tessa be our FRG Leader and head up our family activities.
I encourage you to reach out to each other, lend support and advise. You are all part of an elite group of people, those with loved ones in the military. You are strong, patriotic, caring and loving individuals, and we rely on your support each and every day of our deployment. A single soldier never deploys alone, the entire family deploys with them.
1LT David (Brian) Smith
On behalf of myself and my soldiers I'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you all to this site.
I fully understand how important it is to stay connected to your loved ones during deployment, and I'm excited to have my wife, Tessa be our FRG Leader and head up our family activities.
God Bless and please join me in praying for a quick and successful mission! HOOAH
Kindest Regards,
Friday, June 22, 2012
The YMCA Helping to make Military Life easier for our soldiers and their families! Click here to see the great offers and discounts available!http://www.asymca.org/
Thursday, June 21, 2012
New Home Away From Home
New Home Away From Home, a set on Flickr.
Mississippi is hot, hot and hotter! Hang in there guys!
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Farewell Ceremony 6/17/12
Farewell Ceremony 6/17/12, a set on Flickr.
Enjoy our Farewell Ceremony Pictures
Friday, June 15, 2012
FREE BOOK for MILITARY FATHERS
TAHOE/TRUCKEE, Calif. — The Fellowship of Fathers Foundation is offering through its Help Our Military— Every Dad (HOME) program, a book to any active duty military man requesting one through their military chaplain. The book “Be a Better Dad Today,” by author and philanthropist Gregory W. Slayton was released last month.
“Serving in the U.S. Military is one of the most honorable professions, but let's face it, it's also an extremely hard one, especially on families,” Slayton said. “My hope and prayer is that the tools and ideas put forward in ‘Be A Better Dad Today' will be a powerful help for military dads.”
Published by Regal Books, “Be a Better Dad Today” is available in stores everywhere. For active duty military men, it can be requested online, by their military chaplain. Inquire for the entire unit and the Chaplain will receive up to 30 free copies shipped immediately.
Written by former U.S. diplomat, the Honorable Gregory W. Slayton, this book has received high profile endorsements and is set to be valuable Father's Day read. Slayton gets personal and shares openly about his own family, speaking as a father, to fathers, about self-improvement and success.
U.S. Senator and war veteran John McCain says, “I learned about life and honor from my father and grandfather, who were my heroes as Naval officers and, most importantly, fathers. Their courage and faith were an inspiration to me and a key to my survival in some of my most difficult times. I've personally known Gregory and his family for years, and I know he exemplifies the title of his book ‘Be a Better Dad Today,' each and every day of his life. My hope is that this book will help every single man who picks it up to be the best father, the best husband, and the best man he can be.”
To underscore his commitment of strengthening fatherhood and families, Gregory Slayton has committed to donate 100 percent of his book royalties to charity.
To get the book you must either email: activeduty@beabetterdadtoday.com or have your military chaplain request it online for your entire troop/battery/squadron/unit.
Visit www.fellowshipoffathers.com.
About Gregory Winston Slayton
The Honorable Gregory Winston Slayton is an American father, professor, diplomat, author, businessman, and philanthropist. He has served as U.S. Chief of Mission to Bermuda, appointed by President George W. Bush and reassigned by President Obama. He currently manages Slayton Capital and is a visiting professor at Harvard, Dartmouth and Stanford. He resides in New Hampshire with his wife of 23 years and their four children.
“Serving in the U.S. Military is one of the most honorable professions, but let's face it, it's also an extremely hard one, especially on families,” Slayton said. “My hope and prayer is that the tools and ideas put forward in ‘Be A Better Dad Today' will be a powerful help for military dads.”
Published by Regal Books, “Be a Better Dad Today” is available in stores everywhere. For active duty military men, it can be requested online, by their military chaplain. Inquire for the entire unit and the Chaplain will receive up to 30 free copies shipped immediately.
Written by former U.S. diplomat, the Honorable Gregory W. Slayton, this book has received high profile endorsements and is set to be valuable Father's Day read. Slayton gets personal and shares openly about his own family, speaking as a father, to fathers, about self-improvement and success.
U.S. Senator and war veteran John McCain says, “I learned about life and honor from my father and grandfather, who were my heroes as Naval officers and, most importantly, fathers. Their courage and faith were an inspiration to me and a key to my survival in some of my most difficult times. I've personally known Gregory and his family for years, and I know he exemplifies the title of his book ‘Be a Better Dad Today,' each and every day of his life. My hope is that this book will help every single man who picks it up to be the best father, the best husband, and the best man he can be.”
To underscore his commitment of strengthening fatherhood and families, Gregory Slayton has committed to donate 100 percent of his book royalties to charity.
To get the book you must either email: activeduty@beabetterdadtoday.com or have your military chaplain request it online for your entire troop/battery/squadron/unit.
Visit www.fellowshipoffathers.com.
About Gregory Winston Slayton
The Honorable Gregory Winston Slayton is an American father, professor, diplomat, author, businessman, and philanthropist. He has served as U.S. Chief of Mission to Bermuda, appointed by President George W. Bush and reassigned by President Obama. He currently manages Slayton Capital and is a visiting professor at Harvard, Dartmouth and Stanford. He resides in New Hampshire with his wife of 23 years and their four children.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
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